Sink or Swim

Sink or Swim

“I sink in deep mire, where there is no foothold; I have come into deep waters, and the flood sweeps over me.” Psalms‬ ‭69:2‬ ‭ESV‬‬

Swim at Your Own Risk

“Congratulations. It’s benign. No cancer.”

I took the news with a certainty that the doctor must have read the results incorrectly. How could I have dodged another bullet? I was convinced my luck had run out, the well of positive outcomes for my health concerns had run dry, and that this time God believed I was ready to tackle the “Big One.”

Four times I have been told it might be cancer, not just might be, but more than likely was. Four times I’ve felt the relief of finding out I was cancer-free. Four times I’ve felt like someone took at sledgehammer to my body and brain as I processed the aftermath of the sea of emotions I had experienced.

At the risk of sounding ungrateful, I feel the need to put into words the emotional toll these events have had on me. Besides the cancer scares, I have also had a blood clot in my lung with many months of follow-tests and visits to specialists to rule out malignancy as a possible cause. Thankfully, I am still here, unlike so many others who did not receive such good news. Still, I cannot say that I have come through these scares unscathed. That’s simply not the case.

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Living Fearlessly by Faith

Living Fearlessly by Faith

"Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.” Hebrews‬ ‭11:1‬ ‭NIV‬‬

I have always wanted to walk in faith, to live in faith, to be a woman of faith. It hasn't always been easy.

Anyone whose loved one struggles with addiction or behaves recklessly has felt fear, even terror, at times. We understand the feeling all too well. We are scared to death when the phone rings at an unexpected hour. Our heart sinks at every unannounced knock at the door. We lay awake imagining the worse-case scenarios.

Yep, that pretty much sums it up.

Even if you are not living with the chaos of addiction in your family, fear can take you hostage for so many reasons. Marriage problems, financial burdens, the state of our world, and so many other concerns fight to take up real estate in our minds.

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Do Not Fear

Do Not Fear

“For I am the Lord your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you.” Isaiah‬ ‭41:13‬ ‭NIV‬‬

The other night I woke up and felt a formidable presence with its hands around my throat. Accusing and intimidating, it reminded me it was not going anywhere, nor was it through with me yet. In fact in it own words, it was only “heating up”.

It was overwhelming, to say the least. It is not very often that I can say I have come in direct contact with a dark spiritual presence. But, I knew beyond any doubt that I was not dreaming.

In the Presence of Our Enemies

I have felt that presence before. You know, the one that tries to convince you that God has abandoned you and that you are all alone in your trials. I wasn't afraid, but I was overwhelmed with a feeling of loneliness and isolation.

Was I really alone? Had God forgotten me?

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