“All your children shall be taught by the Lord, and great shall be the peace of your children.” Isaiah 54:13 ESV
Are you blessed to have a daughter? I am. After giving birth to two rambunctious boy blessings, my sweet little “Angel Baby,” as my friends liked to call her, made her grand entrance three years after the birth of her older brother. To say I was in “heaven” was an understatement. While her brothers were all about having fun, roughhousing, and tearing anything apart that wasn’t nailed down, she was content to observe, rather than take part, in their shenanigans. As she grew, she loved to tag along with them, always keeping a safe distance, but sticking close enough to enjoy their escapades.
I came into motherhood with certain preconceived ideas on how to nurture and train my beloved offspring to become the individuals God intended them to be. I embraced the wisdom and sage advice of mothers with more experience: “Boys will be boys, and girls will be girls.” I expected boys were naturally boisterous, messy, and risk-takers, while girls were chatty, outgoing, and lovers of all things “pink.”
While I opted to raise my sons with a one-size-fits-all approach, I soon learned they were two completely unique individuals with distinct personalities, temperaments, and interests. Raising my daughter would require an entirely different skill-set, one that required I get in touch with my “inner child” and take a softer approach to parenting.
“For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it full well.” Psalm 139:13-14 ESV
Being the mom to three children brought with it unique challenges. Because my boys were “runners” and “bolters,” I often wished I had been born with an extra pair of hands and a set of eyes on the back of my head. Still, I found parenting my children while they were young to be far less challenging than doing so once they became teenagers and, ultimately, adults.
As they grew and matured, my opinions and ability to control had to move over for their autonomy and free will. No longer would Mom have the final say. They were each determined to be independent and make their own decisions. In doing so, at times they found themselves in situations that caused them consequences, pain, and heartache. There were also occasions when others hurt them or circumstances caused them to suffer due to no fault of their own.
Does Your Daughter Struggle?
While my sons were confident self-advocates, my daughter was not. Born on the autism spectrum, she struggled with expressing her feelings and thoughts, especially when she was under stress or upset. Instead of possessing a power for words and self-expression, she internalized her emotions, unable to share what was hurting her or causing her to feel anxious or depressed. I often misunderstood her silence as meaning everything was well with her.
It took me a while to realize that while her brothers acted out their frustrations, she suffered physically with stomach problems, cold sores, and panic attacks. The stress she felt manifested in further withdrawal from her family and peers. When addiction entered our family by way of her siblings, she shut down completely. It took time and patience for her to feel safe to share her emotions, especially when doing so would draw attention to herself, something she resisted at all costs. I spent many years praying that my struggling daughter would learn how to speak up for herself, not only within our family, but in school and social settings as well.
Your daughter may be struggling as well. It might be for reasons other than those my daughter has experienced. Raising daughters to become confident women in this world is challenging. Social media and peer pressure can have negative and lasting effects on how they see themselves. As their moms, we need to remind them often of who they are in Christ and that their identity is found in Him, not in what they do or what others think of them. While we won't be able to protect them from all pain and suffering, we will always be there to encourage and pray for them.
“See what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God, and so we are.” 1 John 1:3a ESV
Hope for Our Struggling Daughters
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.” Philippians 4:6 ESV
Is your daughter struggling in some area of her life? Is she concerned about her future or her place in the world? Does she worry about her education, her career, or her finances? Is her physical, emotional, or mental health suffering? Has her soul been wounded by another? Perhaps she is making life-destructive choices and rebelling against the values by which you raised her. She may have walked away from her faith, insisting that while the whole “God thing” might be good for you, she wants nothing to do with him.
It's painful to watch our daughters struggle and feel powerless to help them. As they grow into adulthood, we no longer have control over them and over the decisions they make. While we can be a source of influence and encouragement, we can’t live their lives for them. The good news is that the Lord is deeply concerned about the lives of his children. We can trust him to watch over our daughters when we can’t be with them.
How to Encourage Your Struggling Daughter
“Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward.” Psalm 127:3 ESV
As our daughters mature, they will learn to handle their own problems. Sometimes, they will make decisions and choices we do not agree with. While we can’t manage their lives like we did when they were babies, we can pray for them. These Bible verses can offer you encouragement as you pray for your struggling daughter.
12 Bible Verses to Pray Over Your Struggling Daughter
1. Pray for her relationship with Jesus.
“If you confess with your mouth that Jesus Christ is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.” Romans 10:9 ESV
Pray your daughter will accept Jesus as her Savior and learn to rely on him, not only during the good times, but in the hard times she will face. Encourage her to seek the Lord and trust him in her trials.
2. Pray she will love the word of God.
“Sanctify them by the truth; your word is truth.” John 17:17 NIV
Pray your daughter will have a desire for the word of God, the Bible. Ask the Lord to plant his word in her heart so she can know him and his will for her life.
3. Pray for her heart.
“Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.” Matthew 5:8 ESV
Pray your daughter will have a heart wholly surrendered to Jesus. Pray she will receive his love and share his love with others.
4. Pray for her mind and emotional wellbeing.
“For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.” II Timothy 1:7 NKJV
Pray your daughter will have a keen awareness of the presence and power of the Holy Spirit in her life. Ask the Lord to strengthen her emotionally and bless her with wisdom to make sound decisions.
5. Pray for her physical health and wellness.
“Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.” 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 ESV
Pray your daughter honors God with her body. Encourage her to consider her body as his temple and to honor him with her choices. If she has made decisions she now regrets, encourage her to seek the love and forgiveness of her Abba Father.
6. Pray she will be spiritually strong.
“For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places. Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm.” Ephesians 6:12-13 ESV
Pray that your daughter will understand that she is in a battle between good and evil. Pray she will put on the armor of God as she prepares to face each new day. Pray she knows and understands that there is power in her prayers of faith as she seeks the Lord and his will for her life.
7. Pray she will put on the nature of Christ.
“Put on your new nature, and be renewed as you learn to know your Creator and become like him.” Colossians 3:10 NLT
Pray your daughter will understand that she is a new creature in Christ and her identity is found in him. Pray she resists the pressure to go along with the crowd and instead seeks to become more like Jesus with each passing day.
8. Pray she will be healed and comforted when she is hurting.
“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” Psalm 147:3 ESV
Pray that your daughter turns to Jesus for help and comfort. Pray she finds healing, not in the world or in harmful behaviors, but in Jehovah Rapha, the God who heals.
9. Pray she will have faith and trust the Lord in the hard times.
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.” Proverbs 3:5-6 ESV
Pray your daughter’s faith is strong. If she is hurting or struggling, pray that she learns to trust the Lord in every area of her life. Ask Jesus to help her persevere when times are hard and she feels like giving up.
10. Pray she will forgive and be forgiven.
“And whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father also who is in heaven may forgive you of your trespasses.” Mark 11:25 ESV
If your daughter is overwhelmed with guilt and shame, pray she asks Jesus for forgiveness and is willing to receive it. If she is feeling bitter because of the pain someone has caused her, pray she will be able to forgive them, even if they are never repentant for their sin against her.
11. Pray she will grow in God’s purpose and calling for her life.
“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.” Jeremiah 29:11 ESV
Pray your daughter understands God has a purpose and plan for her life. May she know how cherished she is by him and that his plans for her are good. May she rejoice as she looks forward to her future and trust the Lord to guide her on her journey.
12. Pray she will know her identity as a child of God.
"So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.” Genesis 1:27 NIV“
Pray your daughter understands she was created in the image of God and that her identity is found in Jesus. Pray she sees herself as fearfully and wonderfully made by her Creator and that her worth is found in being a child of God.
Reminding our daughters of their identity is one of the best ways we can encourage them. Whether or not they are walking with the Lord, our words have power and influence in their lives. We must always be careful to speak the truth to them and over them as we pray for them.
As you prayerfully consider why your daughter is struggling, ask the Lord to help you carefully choose your words and prepare her heart to receive them. Then, trust the Lord to do the rest. He knows your daughter intimately. He will guide you as you seek to pray for your struggling daughter.
"Reminding our daughters of their identity is one of the best ways we can encourage them." ~Dawn Ward
A Prayer for Our Struggling Daughters
Dear Lord.
We pray for our struggling daughters. Some are hurting and broken. Some are feeling intense guilt and shame over decisions they have made. Others have hardened their hearts and walked away from their families and their faith.
Lord, you see the souls of our wounded and hurting daughters. We pray they will feel your love and presence in their lives. We come against the lies of the enemy, telling them they are unworthy to receive your love and forgiveness. We ask you to break every chain that binds them and set them free from any sin that ensnares them. May our daughters know they are your beloved children and nothing they can do will ever separate them from your love. We pray our daughters will see themselves through your eyes, as fearfully and wonderfully made. May they see themselves as vessels of honor, chosen and set apart for your glory.
Father God, we ask you to overcome the lies of the evil one who sneers to them they will never be good enough or smart enough or pretty enough to be accepted. Instead, may they believe the truth—that they are daughters of the Most High King. We ask you to direct their paths if they have wandered and lead them back to you. We pray they will live their lives trusting in you to lead them in their callings and purpose. May our daughters seek you with their whole hearts.
We pray for them in Jesus’ name.
Amen.
From Guilt to Grace: Hope and Healing for Christian Moms of Addicted Children by Dawn R. Ward, published on September 17, 2024 is available on Amazon and Barnes and Noble.
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