I’ve been distracted lately. The result? I’m tired and feeling flat, just not myself.
I'm in a Funk
I thought a little transparency was in order, so naturally I picked up a pen (or in this case, hit the keys) to write and hopefully bring about some mental clarity.
The first words that came to mind were from the book of Hebrews. I've been spending a lot of time in that chapter lately.
“fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.” Hebrews 12:2
“Fix our eyes on Jesus.”
“Lord, I read the Bible.”
“Fix your eyes on Jesus.”
“Lord, I pray.”
“Fix MY eyes on Jesus.”
“Dawn, make it personal.”
Ouch. Got it. This is as real as it gets.
I’ve been praying and seeking the Lord to help me with my struggling son and to give me words to bless and encourage others. I’ve been writing and sharing and believing that God moves mountains and performs miracles, and He can and He does and He will.
When You Lack the Energy to Make It Happen
Still, I’ve ended up at a place of weariness. It’s not depression. It’s not even a lack of focus. It’s not a lack of determination or resiliency. But it is a lack of energy.
Stress at work and then at home is multiplied when we live with addicted or wayward loved ones.
We doubt ourselves more. We don’t trust our own judgement. We can start to believe that we are seeing things incorrectly. The enemy has a primary agenda to convince us that we are unstable and losing it.
It can be exhausting. I don’t want to be exhausted. I want to be filled with energy and strength, and I’m not talking about the kind that comes from hitting the gym.
I need the kind of energy only God can give me. That same energy that empowered Jesus to get on that cross and stay there and fulfill the purpose God called him to. He did it for love. He did it for me, and he did it for you. I want the energy that comes from the power of God working in me.
Jesus promised me he would be there if I seek him with all my heart. Not with some distracted, half-hearted prayer either. He knew that exhaustion could do one of two things. It could make me give up and quit, or it would motivate me to search out the problem and fix it.
Physical exhaustion drives us to find out what we’re doing wrong. We check our diets and lifestyle. We go to the doctor if necessary.
Spiritual exhaustion requires the same attention. Are we distracted, too busy or throwing God a quick, “Hi! How ya doin?” Are we taking a dine-and-dash approach to reading his word, looking for instant gratification or to get a word for someone else?
Spiritual exhaustion requires a trip to the hospital. It means allowing the Lord to heal, restore and strengthen us.
Recovery means not doing it the same way every time, expecting a different outcome. It means letting go and letting God do some open heart surgery as He breathes life back into our battle-worn souls.
That’s where I’m at. I am ready to make this whole thing very personal and real. And while I do love someone who struggles deeply, God loves someone who struggles deeply also. That someone is me, and that someone is you.
Getting Out of This Funk
I think I finally realize how very much he wants my whole heart and he let me get to the point of total exhaustion to prove it. Now, it’s time to let him carry me for a while. With his help, I'm ready to get out of this funk I'm in.
Will you let him do the same for you? Will you crawl up into the lap of Jesus for no other reason than to be in his presence?
Will you sit with him for a while without a hidden agenda or a to-do list? Will you let him transform your funk-iness into faith-filledness?
We often get so busy that we forget to receive your love that energizes and empowers us. You endured shame because of the joy that was waiting for you. Help us to remember that we were never meant to walk on this earth doing things for you. We need to let go and let you live your will out in us. Energize us with your Spirit. Empower us with your presence. Carry us every day and every step of the way. We pray in Jesus name.