For Vivian: Check on Your Happy Friends (Mental Health Awareness)

This blog is written by guest blogger and my dear friend, Kathryn Inman, author of Counting Spoons and Check on Your Happy Friends. As you read her words, please pray for the loved ones of those who have lost their lives to suicide...and for those who are struggling in silence with their mental health.

"The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed." Psalm 34:18 (NLT)

Not a week goes by when I don’t think about Vivian.

I never met her, but I feel like I have.

From what I’ve heard, she was walking sunshine. Lovely inside and out. Positive. Bubbly. Energetic. A kind, strikingly beautiful, talented young woman who was known for her radiant personality, and her passion for baking. Vivian was so gifted at baking that she appeared as a contestant on several reality tv shows.

Vivian was surrounded by people who loved and adored her, but no one knew she was suffering from childhood trauma, or that she barely slept—sometimes going days without any sleep at all. Even her closest friends had no idea she was suffering in silence. Tragically, when the darkness pressed in and became too much she took her own precious life, and we lost her forever.

I was on a weekend getaway at the coast when my sister Martha called and first told me of Vivian’s passing. Martha had worked with her for years, and I could tell she was devastated. I was heartbroken for my sister, and for everyone who knew and loved Vivian. I wondered what could have happened—she was young and seemed so happy. She had her whole life ahead of her.

The weight of her loss stayed with me, and I couldn’t stop thinking about it. Her name kept coming up in conversations until one day Martha asked me to consider writing about what happened.

“I think you need to write about this.” Martha said.

“You mean write a blog or a testimonial?” I asked, eager to support my sister, and honor her friend.

“No,” Martha responded, “There’s more here. I think you need to write a book. For Vivian. People are suffering and need hope.”

Wait…what? A book?

Martha’s request caught me off guard, and I immediately tossed her idea aside.

“I’m happy to write something to honor her, but I can’t write a book about this. I’m not equipped, and it’s just too sad. Besides, I have no idea how to write fiction.” I said, knowing there was no way.

Martha wasn’t surprised by my response, but she wasn’t giving up that easily.

She asked me to pray about it.

Reluctantly, I said I would.

I prayed about it several times, and waited for the Lord to give me words to let my sister down easy because I didn’t want to disappoint her, but there was no way I was writing a book about suicide and trauma.

Absolutely not a chance.

The words never came, but just days later as I was walking barefoot on the grass in our front yard praying in the quiet, early morning hours as I often do, something happened…

"And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us,

a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God."

Ephesians 5:2 (ESV)

I’ll call it a spiritual download. It was as if the Lord took my hand, gently guided me to a curtain, slowly opened it, and then He revealed a whole world to me—one that would become a story of love, friendship, trauma, human suffering, and hope in Christ.

I wrote the ending first, then the beginning, and the Lord stayed close and led me through every chapter in-between.

Fast forward to today, my fiction novel titled, Check on Your Happy Friends was picked up by a Christian publisher and launched out into the world and into the hands of readers everywhere. As early reviews and comments trickle in, I’m shocked by how this book is reaching such a wide and unexpected audience. I never imagined it would resonate with readers on such a deeply personal level.

Many identify with the main character, Dani, who is a lovely, capable, talented, beautiful young woman. Like Vivian, Dani shines with a warmth that touches everyone around her and is adored by many, but inside she’s suffering and tormented by trauma and a darkness no one knows about.

As I wrote the story, I saw what Vivian and so many others couldn’t see:

That even in our darkest moments, hope can break through.

That there IS a Savior who will show up and make a way for us if we seek Him.

And that no one is to far gone for the mercy and life-giving grace of Jesus.

As I look back on this wild writing journey, I can’t help but be in awe and wonder of our Lord and how He uses every bit of our pain for our good and His glory. I did not believe I was equipped to write this story, but God’s ways are always higher. I’m grateful my sister had the idea, and I’m grateful I said yes in obedience. God has blessed me for it.

He healed parts of me I didn’t know needed healing. He gave me insight and a vision to create relatable characters that you can’t help but fall in love with. And gently, He allowed me to experience a glimpse into the darkness and pain that sadly so many live with. This isn’t Vivian’s story, but it’s inspired by her and it has changed me in profound ways. It shifted my heart about how to show up for people, and it reshaped how I see friendship, the importance of checking in, and what it means to love others like Jesus.

I can’t fully understand what Vivian may have felt in those final moments, but I pray this book honors her life and gives hope to others. I think she would have wanted that.

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take.” Proverbs 3:5 (NLT)

I’ll end by sharing the dedication from Check on Your Happy Friends…

Dedicated to Vivian,

You are the inspiration behind this story.

You were a light—bright, kind, and unforgettable.

No one knew the depth of your pain,

But everyone saw the beauty of your heart.

Love remembers. Always.

We only wish you could have stayed.

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Kathryn Inman is the author of Counting Spoons, a powerful memoir of her family's journey through her son’s heroin addiction. Kathryn writes boldly about the struggles we hide, and the healing found in Christ. Her debut novel, Check on Your Happy Friends, carries that heart forward. She lives in Northern California with her husband and loves Jesus, her growing family, and her community.

Check on Your Happy Friends available for purchase through Baily & Huhn Publishers Website.

Counting Spoons, A Memoir of Heroin, Heartache, and Hope (soon to be relaunched.) Currently available for purchase through Amazon.

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Are you a mother trying to cope with the painful reality of your adult child's addiction or self-destructive behaviors?

From Guilt to Grace: Hope and Healing for Christian Moms of Addicted Children offers guidance to mothers grappling with the anguish of their child’s addiction. Through Biblical truths and personal insights, you will discover the lies keeping you trapped in guilt and shame and experience the transforming power of God’s grace to set you and your loved ones free.

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