Control Freak Here: Finding Fullness in Letting Go of Control

This month's guest blog is written by Dr. Gladys Childs.

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding.” ‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭3‬:‭5‬ ‭ESV‬‬

I thought holding everything together was the key to happiness, until I realized God had something better in mind.

Control. Planning. Perfecting. If you’re anything like me, you’ve clung tightly to life like a checklist, believing that if you just manage everything well enough, you’ll finally feel whole and fix what is broken.

The truth is, even when things look “perfect” on the outside, you can still feel hollow, restless, and unsatisfied on the inside. Achievements, relationships, and the things we chase promise fulfillment, but they can’t fill the empty spaces in our hearts.

Psalm 16:11 reminds us, “You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.”

Fullness isn’t something we chase or manufacture. It’s a gift found only in God’s presence.

“You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.” Psalm 16:11 ESV

Chasing Emptiness Through Control

Too often, we try to find fullness by holding tight to control. We plan, strategize, and grip life tightly, believing we can make it work on our own.

As I write in my book, Chasing Emptiness, Finding Fullness:

"Have you ever felt like everything was under control, until it wasn’t? We plan and strategize, gripping tightly to our expectations, believing life will go our way if we try hard enough. But then reality hits; a relationship shifts, a door slams shut, a dream slips through our fingers. And suddenly, we’re scrambling—trying to fix it, force it, and hold on. Control feels safe, until it starts suffocating us. The more we cling to it, the more it drains us, wears us down, and traps us in fear. And the hardest truth? The tighter we grip, the harder it becomes to receive and give love."

Sarah tried to force God’s promise by having Abraham conceive with Hagar, and Peter tried to redirect Jesus’ path—both examples of human control leading to heartbreak and frustration. True fullness comes when we release our grip and let God establish our steps. Proverbs 16:9 reminds us, “The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps.”

“The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps.” Proverbs 16:9 ESV

Practical Steps Toward Fullness

You don’t have to stay stuck chasing emptiness. Here are three practical ways to begin stepping into God’s fullness today:

1. Notice your grip. Pay attention to where fear drives your decisions. Ask yourself: “Am I holding this out of love or fear?” Awareness is the first step toward surrender.

2. Replace anxiety with surrender. Every time worry creeps in, pray: “Lord, I release this. I trust Your love more than my fear.” Surrender is choosing trust over control.

3. Let love guide your choices. Fear says, “I have to make this work.” Love says, “God is working, even when I can’t see it.” Let love, not fear, lead your next step.

Let God Fill the Hollow Spaces

Chasing emptiness will never satisfy, but God’s presence does. Even the pain, the waiting, and the uncertainty become part of the fullness story; a life rich not because circumstances are perfect, but because God’s love is.

Prayer:

Lord, we come to You with open hearts, ready to let go of the need to control and embrace Your plan. Teach us to trust Your love more than our fear, to surrender our expectations, and to rest in Your presence. Fill the empty spaces within us with Your joy, Your peace, and Your steadfast love. Help us walk each step with confidence, knowing that You hold not just our future, but us—completely, safely, and perfectly.

Amen.

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Dr. Gladys Childs hosts the TV show Bare Faith, where raw faith and deep pain meet a relentless God. Known as the "Truth Doctor," she names the lies standing between people and God’s truth. A pastor’s wife, author, speaker, former religion professor, and boy mom, Gladys, speaks with authority, heart, and real-life grit.

Her new book, Chasing Emptiness, Finding Fullness, offers practical guidance, Scripture, and encouragement to live fully in God’s abundance. Learn more at gladyschilds.com. Follow on Instagram or Facebook.

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